Let Them Think What They May

Life doesn’t always go the way we plan. We know this. We’re taught this before we can walk, before we can even begin to form a notion of the world we’re living in.

Sometimes life presents a beautiful opportunity to you … which you accept immediately, graciously, excitedly. You’re happy, ecstatic even, until the sparkles begin to rub off, until you throw all you have into this opportunity, and realize it’s nothing like you expected.

Sometimes your amazing career opportunity turns out to be nothing but a shitty office job in a faraway city. You learn that the company you put your trust in serves corporate customers instead of the citizens that rely on them. They tear you apart, they change your clothes and how you speak, they force you to blend in with the rest of them. You spend a week behind the computer screen, surrounded by silence, working on projects that go against everything you believe in.

So you quit, because that’s the kind of person you are. No justifications needed, not for you anyway. Not sure where to go from here, no plan B. You’re scared about what people will think. Always so scared of making the wrong decision.

You begin to embrace the term young and free, without completely understanding what it means. You wake up one morning and decide to take a road trip alone in your shitty car, sleep at rest stops, and then turn around after driving halfway there because you’re afraid. You spontaneously buy tickets for a concert six hours away in another country, because they’re fucking worth a six hour drive, that’s why. You start to write music again. You start to read again. You try so hard to trust The Universe. You try so hard to believe that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

One morning, you wake up early and notice dew on the grass. You decide to take a walk alone in the forest, camera in tow.

You see things you’ve never noticed before, like how dandelions become entirely encased in dewdrops in the morning. You wonder if anybody has ever noticed dandelion dew before, how the seeds resemble snowflakes or frost crystals.

You notice the insects and the birds. You walk on the grass instead of the path, because it’s quieter. You spend a long long time watching a stream. You breathe, really breathe, and focus on your breath. You practice identifying trees, and greet them by name. Good morning, American Elm.

You follow paths without knowing where they lead, without caring where they lead.

You visit one of your favorite trees. You marvel at its strength, as you always do, and wonder how old it is. You close your eyes and bask in its energy. You whisper Namaste and promise to visit again soon.

You leave the forest with your head held high, unsure of where you’re going, but a little more confident, a little less afraid.

Forever Exploring

Hello friends! I have wonderful news. Winter semester is over!!! Phew.

To celebrate, Boyfriend and I went on a small backpacking trip over the weekend. I was really excited; the last time we visited the area was in the middle of winter and the snow-covered paths were impossible to follow.

As expected, the weather was much nicer this time!

While we stood admiring this lake, a lone goose flew in and landed smoothly on the water. It began calling, and its melodic calls echoed across the silent landscape. It was hauntingly beautiful, and we stood captivated for quite some time.

As always, signs of wildlife were everywhere!

The forest paths seemed almost magical, lined with moss and unrolling ferns.

In 2008, a tornado passed through the area. The destruction was absolutely astounding.

Even without the snow, we managed to get lost. Although I was upset and frustrated at the time, I’m glad we lost our way. We discovered a lovely path lining a valley, and it was a fun little adventure!

As the sun began to drop lower in the horizon, we decided to camp on the lake we had discovered earlier in the day. We set up camp, cooked soup and mashed potatoes (yum!!), and spent the rest of the night enjoying our campfire’s warmth.

I’m so happy we were able to take this trip. It’s been a very long time since I’ve felt so much internal peace.

Peace and love,
Claire